A friend was crying as she was told that she got laid off from the company which she worked for 10 years. During the conversation, I noticed that there was a lot of resentment and anger towards the upper management and HR.
I would feel the same if I got laid off from my job. Nevertheless, how we feel and how we respond is up to ourselves to decide.
Never outsource your happiness.
We grow up asking for acceptance from our elders. Asking for love and approval from our parents. Asking acknowledgement from our teachers and our boss that we are doing the good work. If we do not get the approval or acknowledgements, we feel sad and rejected. We have outsourced our happiness to others.
It is okay to open up and be vulnerable to someone that we trust and love us. There should be a limit. We can invite guests to our home, but we will not invite anyone to our home for safety reasons. The same applies to our heart.
It is time to take a stand. It is time to move on. Take back the ownership of your happiness.
Your job will not determine your happiness. Your boss will not determine your happiness. Your wealth will not determine your happiness. Your health will not determine your happiness. Your family will not determine your happiness.
You determine your happiness.
Your body may be sick, your mind can be healthy. You may be financially poor but you have a heart of gold. Bad things happen to good people all the time, that is life. You can still stand up and be the beacon to tell people that life finds a way. You have found your way.
Here are some ideas on taking back your happiness.
Volunteer at your local community or religious centre. Just spent a couple of hours a week. You will make new friends, learn new skills and your world changes.
What is your favourite activity while growing up? The activities that you lose track of time? Could it be painting? Could it be playing cooking? I grow up reading comics and telling stories to myself. Now I write as a past time. Do something from your childhood.
TRIM THE SOCIAL CIRCLE
Disconnect with people who are bringing you down. There are people who provide candid feedback. There are people who just want to bring you down. All these people want is nothing but to complain how life has badly treated them. They do not want to take action. They just want to sit in front of the coffee cup and complain. They want a life of mediocrity and they are afraid of what you becoming. Cut them out.
BUILT YOUR SUPPORT GROUP
Surround yourself with people who loves you and support you. Be mindful of the “Yes Person”. Someone who loves you will tell you exactly what you need to hear. They will be there to support you regardless what happened. If you cannot find one. It is okay. You can walk the journey by yourself. You are your own support group.
Take out a pen and a piece of paper. Every day, write down things that you are grateful for. Be grateful that you have running water, electricity, a roof and food to eat. Be grateful that you are still breathing and have a fighting chance to make things better for yourself and your loved ones.
Get active. Take a walk. Take a jog. Do some pushups. Get the heart pumping and the blood flowing. You feel better about yourself and you concentrate better on your task.
Focus on your breathing. Feel your tummy expand as you breathe in. Feel your tummy compress against the spine as you breathe out. Let go of the past. Let go of the future. You live in the moment. You are free from the shackle of pain from the past. You are free from the anxiety of the future.
Want to write that epic novel? Want to cook up a storm for your family? Want to start that amazing mobile application that you have been thinking the last few months? Start now. Start immediately. You have done enough research. You know enough. Start working on the project every day. Rinse and repeat until the project has complete.